My Party RIP

Disappointed. Let down. A bit pissed off. Not necessarily in that order. I guess it's times like this when you find out who your real friends are.

I'm feeling miffed because I've decided to cancel my birthday party. Yes, yes, my birthday was at the beginning of the month, but due to various factors I moved the party to this coming Saturday. I'd had to move the date and venue a couple of times and when I finally settled on a day and place a bunch of people dropped out, most of them complaining that the fact I'd moved the party to a town a few miles down the road was the problem, rendering the whole thing a bit pointless. I couldn't really see the point in having a party for just a few people so I cancelled it.

Honestly, I'd fallen out of love with the idea of it by then as well. Too much moving it around and the lack of enthusiasm from some of the people I invited have all contributed to the downfall of my party. I still like the idea but I felt like I'd be disappointed by it if I went ahead. So now I am simply planning a night out (in the same town) and I will know that the people who come are the people I can count as my true friends.

Funny, I think I can count my 'real' friends on my fingers. Who are the 105 people I have on Facebook? If I'd added everyone who has requested me as a friend it would be a lot higher, I just don't want people I never spoke to in school on my list of 'friends'. I have no interest in collecting 'friends' the way some folk do. Let's be honest, most of us fill our Facebook page with family members, acquaintances, friends of friends we met at parties and people we went to school with who we haven't spoken to in years and don't talk to now we have re-established some form of contact. The amount of names on the list who are actual friends is likely to be tiny in proportion. My 'real life' friends are those I see on a regular basis or at least speak to if meeting up is not possible.

Speaking of Facebook, what is it with these constant status updates and 'checking into' places? People keep tryin to tag me in these posts and since I have disabled most of those settings, I get notices instead telling me that I have been checked into somewhere! Very annoying. Those who live every minute of their lives on Facebook really niggle me. It seems to me that they need to fulfil some sort of need for attention by sounding out every single thing they do, every minute of the day. Nobody cares what you had for lunch, even if it was the most epic sandwich ever. There's something a little bit sad about this culture of updating everything you do to a social network, in the hope that somebody will comment on it, as if this somehow validates your existence. Yes! Twenty-seven 'likes'! I have friends! Er, no. You have 27 people who 'like' your post/picture/video/whatever. It's interesting. You may be thinking, that's rich coming from you. You're writing a blog. True. I am writing a blog. Difference is, I'm not writing it to validate my existence or prove that I have friends. I write from a sheer need to write. This is my forum. Nobody's forcing you to read this. When I receive a bunch of crap in my newsfeed about the 12 cups of coffee someone's had today or the fact that someone else is tired and wants to go to bed, I wonder - how is this interesting to others? If you have nothing of worth to say, say nothing. I only post when I have something to say. Same with this blog. I don't post every day. I'd bore myself silly.

Facebook-related rant over!

Back to subject - Oh yes. Friends. I have a rather close-knit group, consisting of:

* one girl I met at college after accidentally throwing my pen at her
* my GBF and his lovely fiance
* GBF's youngest sister who I've known since she was 11
* one girl I used to work who has become a good friend

This is my group of go-to people. They are the ones I choose to go out dancing with. They are the ones who listen to the problems. They are the ones who have picked up the pieces after broken relationships, mine and theirs. We share ideas, hopes, dreams, secrets. We bond over tea and cake, wine and dancing, movies and nibbles. It's unshakeable and grows stronger over time.

There are other friends of course. People I see every so often. We meet and catch up. One in particular from school, we have Pudding Nights where we go to a pub and order pudding. No meal. Just pudding. It's a quirk we enjoy. With others, there's texting, chatting on Facebook, occasional reunions with much reminiscing and merriment. These are all times to enjoy and cherish. Real friends are special people. I hope you know who you are.