Age = Self Confidence?

Strange. I'm feeling odd. Not in an ill sort of way. In a sort-of-different way. I went out on Saturday night for the first time in, ahem, ages. Halloween actually. That hasn't happened in - can't remember how long. Anyway, I went out with a couple of girls I hadn't seen in ages. Sitting in the bar drinking a glass (or three) of rose, I realised I was older than both of them. In a different decade in fact. Slightly weird? Yes. They are both annoyingly attractive and financially more successful than me, which became apparant during the course of the conversation. A bit irritating? Yes.

But as the night progressed and we moved on to another bar (this one has a dancefloor, yay), I realised something else. They are both terribly insecure, despite their looks. I may be financially insecure but I appear to have more self-confidence than either of them. One was really self-conscious about her dress and needs to drink rather a lot to feel comfortable dancing. She looked fantastic in the dress and had nothing to worry about. The other looks good in everything but doesn't seem to know when she's had enough wine and hasn't had a proper boyfriend the entire time I've known her. That may be a lifestyle choice, although I'm not not certain it is, as we were talking men (as us girls do) and when I mentioned nice things the BF does for me, she said several times 'I need a man like that'.

I didn't care a jot what anyone thought when they looked at my outfit (playsuit with black shorts and leopard print top with gold and black glitter wedges, for anybody who cares). I don't need to drink to dance. I'd dance anyway. I probably did have a little more to drink than I usually would, but I stopped when I knew I'd had enough and got a bottle of water. I have a lovely BF, so don't worry about trying to attract male attention when I'm out. I think being a little older means you get a bit more comfy in your own skin. Maybe you stop caring about what other people think. I figured out quite a while ago that nobody really gives a toss what shapes you throw on the dancefloor; most people are too busy having their own fun. Or are too pissed to notice.

While I'd like the financial benefits my friend's jobs give them, I wouldn't trade my self-confidence for it. Some things money just can't buy. I'm not saying I never look in the mirror and go 'arghhh!' or that I'm Miss Super-Confident. That's not true. I just feel that I have gained a sense of happiness and content in some areas of my life and those things give me the confidence to just be me. I feel a song coming on...'I am the one and only, nobody I'd rather be...' Got to love a bit of Chesney :-)