Positivity, Narcotics and Pudding

An update I think is the way to go with this entry dear reader.

Firstly the careers appointment. I came away with the feeling that things may not actually be as shit as I think they are. Well, in the future that is. But part of the 'optimism' thing that I'm trying out is looking to the future and not seeing a big black cloud of doom and gloom. So, continuing with this theme, I have a neat little action plan detailing a bunch of stuff to do - update and revamp the old CV, look up companies and do 'speculative applications' which sounds super scary and complicated but isn't. All in all a successful first meeting. Even if the careers advisor was a bit scatty and disorganised. I will overlook that as she was helpful :-) I have a second meeting arranged for next week and have some things on my list to tick off before then. Ah, motivation...

Secondly, the hair. It's blonde. I like it. That is all.

Thirdly, the night out. The drunk annoying people were not out in force, which made me happy. Although there were a couple of idiots dancing on the tables, security sorted them out fairly sharpish. A good girly night out :-)

I have to say though, I did receive a bit of a shock in the toilets of one bar. It's a small place with only two cubicles, one of which was out of order and the other (rather interestingly) has two toilets in it. I'd popped to the loo with one of the girls and, as there wasn't a queue, I went in first. (We're close, but not peeing-together-close). When I came out, another girl had come in and was chatting to my friend. She persuaded my friend to go in with her, and I carried on washing my hands. Less than a minute later the toilet door opened and my friend came out and whispered that the girl was doing coke in the toilet! Now if it had been up to me, I'd have reported it to the staff. However, I didn't really see the girl and by the time it would have taken us to get back downstairs and found someone to tell, she would have been out of the toilets anyway. And my friend didn't want to tell on the girl - you really don't know what people could get like and I think she was a bit afraid of that which is understandable. The shock for me though was that someone was taking drugs in that particular bar. It never strikes me as the sort of place where that kind of thing goes on. If I see it again I won't think twice about reporting it.

I've always had a zero tolerance attitude to drugs. An ex of mine used to smoke pot regularly and I made it perfectly clear that I would not tolerate it. I told him if he ever showed up stoned at my house, that would be it. I don't know what he got up to with his friends, and I never asked. I suspect he was doing it. My attitude towards drugs seemes to have stemmed from those ads in magazines in the late 1990s with people's brains and insides highlighted to show what the drug does to you when you take it. I think it was pretty well drummed into me that drugs were very bad. It was also around the time that Leah Betts died from taking Ecstasy on a night out. The picture of her that was in the news really shocked me I think. I have never wanted to take any sort of illegal substance. I guess some people might consider that very 'square' but I don't care. Why poison yourself? You don't know what's really in those things half the time so why take the risk? I never smoked a cigarette for the same reasons - plus it's toxic, smelly, rots your insides and can give you multiple diseases. I once saw pictures of a gangrenous foot and a blackened lung which were caused by smoking. I decided then, at the age of 13 I was never going to smoke. I'm rather proud of the fact that I stuck to that.

Alcohol on the other hand was a different matter. I never considered drinking booze as poisoning my body. However I have had nights, like everyone, when the drink has been too much for me to handle and I have suffered the unpleasant consequences. I no longer drink myself into a stupor as it's not cool and it's no fun not being able to move the next day for fear of your head exploding. I try to drink in moderation, which may sound boring but it's nice to be able to get up the next day, remembering everything clearly and not feeling a need to chain yourself to the toilet. Also, recently I've been getting headaches while drinking, so cutting down only seems sensible. I think maybe getting older is a factor... that's what I will blame it on anyway! My advancing years... ;-)

Tonight I am having pudding with a school friend. I may have mentioned this before - we meet every so often to eat delicious puddings and catch up. No-one else is invited. I love pudding. Although I am trying to be good. Two weddings to go to, need to look good in pictures. Also, as one of the dresses I'm wearing is being made to measure by the GBF for his civil partnership, I am not allowed to put on weight. Or lose any, as I was told on Monday during my fitting! So, small pudding only. And I should not be eating the Easter eggs, but people insist on giving them to me...

Now I have to go and work out how to cook some chicken with some kind of barbeque spice-shake-thing... should be interesting!

Today's Random Thoughts

So. Tomorrow is my careers appointment. The CV is printed and ready to be scrutinised. I don't think there's anything wrong with it but the website says I should take it. I don't really know what to expect from it. I hope it will be worthwhile and I will come out of the meeting all fired up and ready to start on whatever the plan turns out to be. I live in hope.

Also tomorrow I'm getting my hair done. Blonder please, no more roots. I let my BF's sister, who is a hairdresser, dye my hair brown last year. It was fun for a while, but when I decided to go back to blonde it was a lot harder than I expected it to be. I didn't realise that you can't just shove a colour on top and it will make everything better. Apparently it doesn't work like that. So it has taken forever to get it back to 'normal'. I need more blonde! Going out with the girlies on Saturday so do not want bad hair.

Speaking of going out, I think I'm becoming increasingly picky about where I want go and how often. I spent two and a half hours last Saturday night on the phone to the GBF instead of going out. The BF went along to the pub to meet his sister and some friends, and I had a nice long uninterrupted chat. Then at about midnight I decided to have a bath. It was lovely, so quiet and relaxing. Sometimes it's so much nicer to stay in. I know I've said this before but it's true. I have three big nights out coming up and I'm trying to be enthusiatic about it all. Maybe it's because I don't go out as often, but I tend to find myself getting annoyed with drunk people these days. Why do people insist on getting so completely hammered that they no longer have control of their basic motor functions? Arms and legs flailing everywhere, drinks flying in all directions, elbows in the face from over-exuberent 'dance moves'. Not to mention the sweaty beer-swilling idiots who seem to think that they can butt into your evening by trying to dance with you. The local bars and clubs seem to be rife with perverts and people who can't handle their drink. I probably sound like a right Moaning Minnie! Ah well, maybe by Saturday I'll be in a better mood about it all... It's not like I don't want to go, I just wish people wouldn't get so pissed and act like total dicks.

Right. Rant over. I have to go and make sausage pasta. Laters.