Ah, Valentine's Day. I find myself conflicted as ever by this strange day. While I have no problem at all with people wishing to express their feelings for another, I do wonder why so much fuss is made over one little day.
I don't really celebrate Valentine's Day. Haven't for years, ever since a well-meaning ex took me out for a 'romantic' meal. We sat approximately three centimetres away from the next couple because the restaurant had separated the tables into as many 'dinner for two' arrangements as possible and there simply wasn't enough space. Not very romantic when you can hear everyone else's conversations. So I have made it very clear ever since that I do not do Valentine's Day meals. Or presents. As cute as they may be, I don't need a teddy holding a heart. I don't want naff novelty gifts either thank you. I probably wouldn't say no to flowers but I don't think there needs to be a special day for that. I'd accept flowers any day :-)
My BF is not the romantic sort. Well, not in a traditional way. He's never given me flowers, which makes me a bit sad, cos I quite like flowers. We did exchange cards today (mine has a cupcake on it. Full marks for that), but he does so much for me that maybe other people wouldn't think of as romantic. It's the little every day things that count, isn't it? And I don't really need the flowers...
The thing that bugs me the most about Valentine's Day is that it's so commercial. It's all about getting the perfect card with exactly the right words in it. The perfect gift which sums up your feelings. The perfect meal... blah blah blah. It's all built up so much that something is bound to be a disappointment. And the magazines - pushing that perfect look for Valentine's Day, guaranteed to knock his socks off. Pages and pages of lingerie sets to make his jaw drop. (If you give in and buy one of these it is destined to end up hardly worn, stuffed to the back of the drawer because the lace is that super itchy kind or because suspender belts are way too fiddly to bother with). Why all the effort for one day? Surely if you love someone you tell them every day anyway and do something to show that you love them?
One of my best Valentine's Days was a few years ago when me and my GBF were both single. We went out to a V-Day themed night at a bar and spent the whole night ignoring everyone else! Brilliant. People say that being single on V-Day sucks but it doesn't have to. It's a state of mind. I guess if you're unhappily single (or recently dumped) then it must seem like the Worst Day Ever. Especially with loved up folk going around all smoochy and doe-eyed. But the best remedy in my humble opinion is to shake and shimmy it off :D
I've been avoiding Facebook today. I took a look earlier and was confronted with some seriously soppy messages. I just have this thing where I think that stuff is private between people and I don't want to read how much you lurve your partner. It's too much information sometimes! It's nice that you're happy, really it is. But tone it down, I mean it's a public place, for goodness sake. I myself am very happy with the BF, but I'm not about to write gushing paragraphs about it for you nosey lot to read ;-)
Also, I was reading up on the St Valentine that all this nonsense is supposedly based around, and there doesn't appear to be any reference any where to him being associated with romantic gestures. He seems to have been a Christian persecuted by Roman Emperor Claudius II who tried to force him to become a pagan. Valentine refused and instead attempted to convert the emperor to Christianity. When this failed, Claudius had him executed. However, before his execution, he is reported to have cured the jailer's daughter of her blindness. Further tales, largely considered to be embellished, tell of Valentine being a priest who refused to abide by a law stating that young men in the Roman army should remain single. Valentine is supposed to have secretly performed marriages for these men. When he was found out, he was arrested. On the night before his execution, the tale tells that he wrote the first 'valentine' to the jailer's daughter, signed 'from your Valentine'. St Valentine's Day is also no longer a recognised festival in the Catholic calendar, and is largely celebrated today because of a poem written by Geoffrey Chaucer, entitled Parliament of Foules (1382), which appears to give reference to the day. By the fifteenth century, the traditions of giving flowers, sweets and handwritten notes known as 'valentines' had come into being.
So there we have it. It's bloody Chaucer's fault. I knew we had more reason to curse him, other than the hours spent in A Level English trying to figure out what on earth the Wife of Bath is about.
Now the history lesson is over, I would like to say - I hope you have a lovely evening, whether you are loved up and going out for one of those overpriced meals where you practically sit on the next couple's laps, or spending the night on your own with a dvd boxset and a huge box of chocs (and even huger glass of vino). I will be spending tonight much the same as any other - making dinner for the BF (sausage and mash with my homemade onion gravy, for any interested parties), and maybe watching a movie. Happy Valentine's Day :-)
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
Ramble Zone
I must begin this post with an apology. My sister read the last post and was miffed that I left her off my list of people. So this is for you - sorry. Forgive me? :-)
Ah, now that's out of the way. I actually am not sure what the subject of this blog will be. Let's just see where the whimsy takes me...
Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend from university. We met up around this time last year, so figured we might as well have another catch up. He doesn't actually live that far away so we could probably meet more often, but you know how these things go. You say you'll meet, time slips by and you don't. Before you know it a whole year has gone by. So we're meeting for lunch tomorrow at a sort of halfway point between our towns. Only seemed fair really. Last year we met in Southampton because that's where we went to uni, then realised we should have met somewhere closer for both of us. Duh.
It's nice to catch up with old friends. It's funny, I don't keep in close contact with the people from uni that I thought I would. One of the girls I thought I was good friends with 'de-friended' me on Facebook a few months after we left uni. Bit weird, but I figured it was her loss. I keep in better contact with people I went to college with. We usually try to have a get together at least once a year. Last time was at the local bowling alley. Hilarity and madness ensued, as it does when the college clan gets together. There's a small group of us who stay in regular contact, mostly through Facebook, if truth must be told. But when we make the effort to meet up it's always worth it. There's an Avengers plan being cooked up. We're all fans of the great Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy, Angel and Firefly for those not in the know. Shame on you). So it seems fitting that our next shindig should involve the new Avengers movie.
It's odd how people drop out of your life. Even those you were once close to. Like at school, I had a very tight group of friends. We met up every break and sat in the same seats at lunch. We had countless sleepovers, watching Clueless and The Lion King over and over. Playing truth or dare and making up totally crap dance routines to the likes of Five and Steps. Cringe. But we were young and having fun. It could have worse. We didn't smoke or take drugs. But the group started to break up after year 11 when some of us stayed for sixth form and some left or went to college. Then there was life after school. A couple of our group went to uni, and I got married a year later at 19. Life goes in different directions and it becomes difficult to stay in contact or even identify with those friends any more, at least not the way you used to. We had a little reunion last year when one of the girls, who had moved to South Africa, was back visiting family and messaged us asking if we wanted to meet. It was our first meet up in years. It was good to catch up and reminisce about the old school days. It's funny how you slip into the old familiar ways of chatting. I hope we continue to have those reunions, as it helps keep us connected.
There are people I should keep in better contact with. A good friend from school who has lived in Derby since attending the university there, we dip in and out of contact. A couple of years ago we had both gone through a rough time emotionally and we re-bonded over that. That, Bill and Ted and The Big Bang Theory :-) We always manage to pick up wherever we left off; it's as though no time has passed at all. He also introduced me to the delights of La Tasca. And for that I shall be ever thankful. But, as he recently pointed out to me, it has been well over a year since we last met up. Inexcusable really. So this must be rectified. I partially blame myself, as so often when you get a new BF, other friends can become sidelined. (It doesn't help when said friend lives halfway up the country. Or wherever Derby is. My geography is not good). Geographical location should not be an excuse however. It isn't in fact. There is no excuse. There are sketchy plans for a catch up :-) I hope it becomes a reality.
It is difficult maintaining friendships. If we are honest with ourselves, we only have so much to give. Maybe we need to stop spreading ourselves so thinly and concentrate on the most rewarding of our relationships. Facebook (yes that again) and other social networks give the impression we all lead such varied and exciting lives, all of us competing to look the most popular and/or interesting. Why do we work so hard to portray that image? I admit to posting a lot of pictures, but that's usually just to share them wih the people I was out with. If anyone was to look carefully, the same few people pop up in my photos. I like to see what people are getting up to, don't get me wrong. And I'd like to see more of some of my old friends, people I was actually friends with in Real Life. Some of them have been kind enough to let me know they read this blog and enjoy it. So thanks to you, old friends.
Ah, now that's out of the way. I actually am not sure what the subject of this blog will be. Let's just see where the whimsy takes me...
Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend from university. We met up around this time last year, so figured we might as well have another catch up. He doesn't actually live that far away so we could probably meet more often, but you know how these things go. You say you'll meet, time slips by and you don't. Before you know it a whole year has gone by. So we're meeting for lunch tomorrow at a sort of halfway point between our towns. Only seemed fair really. Last year we met in Southampton because that's where we went to uni, then realised we should have met somewhere closer for both of us. Duh.
It's nice to catch up with old friends. It's funny, I don't keep in close contact with the people from uni that I thought I would. One of the girls I thought I was good friends with 'de-friended' me on Facebook a few months after we left uni. Bit weird, but I figured it was her loss. I keep in better contact with people I went to college with. We usually try to have a get together at least once a year. Last time was at the local bowling alley. Hilarity and madness ensued, as it does when the college clan gets together. There's a small group of us who stay in regular contact, mostly through Facebook, if truth must be told. But when we make the effort to meet up it's always worth it. There's an Avengers plan being cooked up. We're all fans of the great Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy, Angel and Firefly for those not in the know. Shame on you). So it seems fitting that our next shindig should involve the new Avengers movie.
It's odd how people drop out of your life. Even those you were once close to. Like at school, I had a very tight group of friends. We met up every break and sat in the same seats at lunch. We had countless sleepovers, watching Clueless and The Lion King over and over. Playing truth or dare and making up totally crap dance routines to the likes of Five and Steps. Cringe. But we were young and having fun. It could have worse. We didn't smoke or take drugs. But the group started to break up after year 11 when some of us stayed for sixth form and some left or went to college. Then there was life after school. A couple of our group went to uni, and I got married a year later at 19. Life goes in different directions and it becomes difficult to stay in contact or even identify with those friends any more, at least not the way you used to. We had a little reunion last year when one of the girls, who had moved to South Africa, was back visiting family and messaged us asking if we wanted to meet. It was our first meet up in years. It was good to catch up and reminisce about the old school days. It's funny how you slip into the old familiar ways of chatting. I hope we continue to have those reunions, as it helps keep us connected.
There are people I should keep in better contact with. A good friend from school who has lived in Derby since attending the university there, we dip in and out of contact. A couple of years ago we had both gone through a rough time emotionally and we re-bonded over that. That, Bill and Ted and The Big Bang Theory :-) We always manage to pick up wherever we left off; it's as though no time has passed at all. He also introduced me to the delights of La Tasca. And for that I shall be ever thankful. But, as he recently pointed out to me, it has been well over a year since we last met up. Inexcusable really. So this must be rectified. I partially blame myself, as so often when you get a new BF, other friends can become sidelined. (It doesn't help when said friend lives halfway up the country. Or wherever Derby is. My geography is not good). Geographical location should not be an excuse however. It isn't in fact. There is no excuse. There are sketchy plans for a catch up :-) I hope it becomes a reality.
It is difficult maintaining friendships. If we are honest with ourselves, we only have so much to give. Maybe we need to stop spreading ourselves so thinly and concentrate on the most rewarding of our relationships. Facebook (yes that again) and other social networks give the impression we all lead such varied and exciting lives, all of us competing to look the most popular and/or interesting. Why do we work so hard to portray that image? I admit to posting a lot of pictures, but that's usually just to share them wih the people I was out with. If anyone was to look carefully, the same few people pop up in my photos. I like to see what people are getting up to, don't get me wrong. And I'd like to see more of some of my old friends, people I was actually friends with in Real Life. Some of them have been kind enough to let me know they read this blog and enjoy it. So thanks to you, old friends.
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