Argh! Decision Making!

Oooh, a background colour! I was fiddling around with the settings and thought I'd give it a go. Might not like it later...

So I've been thinking about these careers meetings I've been going to. I know to begin with I was really excited about them. But now I'm wondering if I went about it a bit, well, wrong. I keep thinking I should do all the things on the action plan. But I just don't think it's right for me. I'm supposed to have the third meeting tomorrow. I might rearrange it. Again. I feel like I need more time to decide. I should probably be doing that instead of writing this. However, writing this might help me come to a decision so... I'm wondering if I should just go to the meeting tomorrow and tell the advisor that, great as her advice was, I think I'm going to go in another direction. Problem is, I still need to find a better job. The one I'm in is killing my brain, it's so boring. It's so tedious. There are aspects of the work I actually don't mind (and secretly quite like), such as organising the displays and making the place look decent. The whole place needs some serious jazzing up though. I think the owner thinks it's some sort of 'shabby chic' when actually it's just shabby. 

I often find my mind wandering, and think about what I'd do if it were my business. I'd scrap the mismatched tablemats for a start. I'd get nice vintage print ones, or use cute tablecloths. The crappy menus would go too. They're currently in these seriously old-fashioned leather holders. (In fact there aren't enough of those to go round, so some tables have a really dull looking laminated menu. Nice.) I'd change the choices on the menu too, it's all this or that with bloody chips. And things like salad with a jacket potato is extra! So that would get a major re-vamp. It needs modernising in a big way. I just don't think people like seeing that they have to pay extra to get beans with their sausage, egg and chips! Especially when chains like Wetherspoons are such good value for money. I don't think the boss-lady wants to acknowledge that she is in competition with those places, whether she likes it or not. I get so frustrated when all I hear from her all day is, "oh this is dreadful/awful/terrible", because we have no customers. DO SOME ADVERTISING! OFFER SOMETHING NEW! Arghhhhh! Some people are so entirely resistant to change though. And blinded by their view of 'how things used to be' that they can't see why they should change. I've made countless suggestions, but I can't make her do anything. If she wants to run the place into the ground, she's going the right way about it. Rant over. 

I'm thinking of volunteering somewhere. Reasons for this: it will probably look good on the old cv. It will give me something to do that does not involve serving tea. It might lead to a job. Or a foot in the door. Whatever. And it's good to give back isn't it? Just don't think about the fact you don't get paid for your time... 

 Grrr, what am going to do about this meeting? So tempted to change it.

Side note - I'm going to the Harry Potter Experience next Monday! Am stupidly excited. Can't wait to walk through the Great Hall - it's the real one you know! Just hope the movie magic isn't spoiled by seeing the sets. It looks really good anyway. I know at my age I shouldn't be all excited about Harry Potter, but I don't care. It's fun to indulge in these things sometimes and enjoy non-grown-up things :-)

Oh, another random thought. I love it when that happens. The BF is going to visit friends in Leeds next month and when he mentioned it to the people he works with, some of them apparently gave him shocked expressions that he was going without me. Some even went as far as to ask him what I think about him going! How weird. My guess is that they are very insecure, distrusting people. I have no problem whatsoever with him going to Leeds. I have no reason not to trust him. Why do people always think the worst of others? For one thing it's insulting to the BF, as they are assuming he's going to cheat, and for another, they're assuming that I don't trust him, and think he will cheat! Oh and he's staying with his ex-wife. She offered to put him up to save on a B+B. I hear that one guy at BF's work practically choked when he heard that! 

I had a tidy-up yesterday. I always feel calmer when I'm in an ordered environment. There's likely to be some psychological explanation for that. I just like things in their places, and when there's stuff everywhere I become a little insane. So yesterday I not only cleared up the crap, I moved the furniture around. Well some of it. There's not much I can do in my teeny-tiny living space. However, I created floor space, which I'm extremely pleased about. The fact that I shoved a lot of stuff into my very pretty Laura Ashley storage boxes can be ignored. At least it isn't visible any more. I wish I had room for a little desk in here. I'm getting such bad posture writing like this. *This* being sitting on the bed sort of twisted sideways. Sounds like I'm a contortionist, but it's simpler than that. Not very comfy though. When you have two people trying to cram themselves and all their stuff into a small room, things could get ugly. Fortunately we are managing, but stuff does tend to accumulate, and I'm filling the loft space up pretty fast with things that just don't go anywhere at the moment. Not sure my nan realises how much stuff I actually have up there!  

For all my tidying up yesterday, I am very disorganised thought-wise today. I need some sort of mental-tidy. This post is going to read like a walk through my mind. Right - decision time. I will postpone my appointment. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes...?