Disappointment

Yes I know. It's been ages. Again. Let's not discuss it, let's just move on... :-)

First, a catch-up.
1. Cardiff was in equal measures epic and fun-filled. Many exciting cheeses were purchased to bring home and savour.
2. I have started doing a few bits for this local organisation, promoting the town and getting people interested in events. I think it's going ok, just wish it was paid :-s
3. Tickets for Edinburgh street-party have been booked! Roll on December...

Hmmm, shorter catch-up than I thought! Anyway, to other business.

In all honesty, I'm not in a very upbeat mood. Feel like a lot of things are a bit shit at the moment. Still finding it hard to get a new job, which makes me feel particularly worthless on a day-to-day basis. Also, me and the BF are trying to get a little house via the housing association and these people are impossible to pin down to get an appointment to view anywhere. So frustrating. And to top it off, I have spent all my money for the week, so can't go anywhere or do anything. Totally sucks. Although, as Xander says on 'Buffy', "It could be worse. I could have gangrene on my face". That would obviously be worse.

Sorry to be so depressing. I see all these positivity posts on Pinterest saying things like 'start every day like it's your birthday' but it gets more difficult as times go on and things don't improve. Who wants to be 30 and living like a teenager? Well, I guess there are the odd few. I need a better sense of self. My university tutor said I had problems with self-belief and I think that's now spread from my writing to my outlook on life. Not healthy I'm sure. I have to believe I deserve better. I do deserve better. They say you should dress for the job you want not the job you have - maybe that applies to life too? Like - believe in yourself more and believe in what you deserve and you will get it? I don't know, maybe that's just some psycho-mumbo-jumbo. I try not to get invested in things to avoid disappointment, but despite that effort disappointment seems to come. Ah well. Back to the old 'gangrene' quote again I suppose.  

I'm going to call the damn housing woman again. I've been advised to bother her as much as possible by some friends who recently dealt with her. They've just got their own place and were the ones who referred me and the BF. So here goes... wish me luck.